YOUR HEALING/HARMING MIND - WITH REFERENCE TO SIR TERRY PRATCHETT

YOUR

  

HEALING / HARMING

   MIND

With special reference to

Sir Terry Pratchett

A sequence of events that, literally, were mind altering, has prompted me to write this short article.  

Apart from any alteration to my own mind, the episodes have provided clues that may have relevance in the study of mental ageing, breast cancer, and, possibly, to the onset of MS and Alzheimer’s disease.

By choice, and for a number of years, I have lived a solitary life in a very quiet and tranquil place, which is free from urban and other forms of pollution. 

I am not a hermit, for I have many friends either in person or by phone and email, but, for large parts of my days, I live deep in my ‘mind’.  Possibly lost in abstract, reflective or ruminative thought, which might then give way to writing, or which might contribute to my ongoing study of that fascinating topic – ‘me’.

Not in an obsessive, Narcissistic manner, but following my absorbing interest in the interplay between the mammal ‘me’, and the Johnny-come-lately intellectual ‘me’.

Here I am with all of my mammal evolution, still complete in its entirety and fully functioning – the result of aeons of logical development, and providing me with the tools of self-preservation, procreation and enhancement of the species, all of which should be in exquisite balance.  And here I am with my split-function human intellectual brain which, with its divisions, can succeed in screwing up and overriding the harmony that should exist - and do it to the detriment of my physical and mental health.

In the most simplistic way, for long periods of time, I live largely in my ‘right brain’, the centre of imagination and ruminative thought.  Even when engaged in such mundane activities as washing the dishes, I may be teasing away at the arguments and forms of words that subsequently I will go on to present in writing such as this.  So deep can I be in analytical thought that suddenly I realise that my breathing is very shallow, and that my body is physically tense and ‘polarised’ in one particular way. 

But, far from being a transient phenomenon, it may be my state of being for significant lengths of time, with the ‘polarisation’ becoming semi-permanent, and, which can be particularly noticeable in my breathing, which may have become not much more than a ‘whisper’.  (See final note).

Within my mind, I am visualising and verbalising.  But to my inner mammal, I am hearing sounds and seeing things and the mammal ‘me’ is actively seeking whatever it is that is causing this degree of attention in my right brain – and it is looking for it to my left hand side.  And it is preparing me physically to respond actively to whatever it is that might come from that direction.

My left foot and my right hand ‘close’ as if holding on, while my left buttock becomes taut, with the centre of tension at the ischium.  Likewise, the left testicle structure is tensed, and the left lower abdomen is retracted.  Meanwhile the senses of hearing, vision and touch in the right side of my head, become marginally less acute.

The right leg and right lower quarter stiffen, producing muscular tension in the thigh and ankle region, and in the lower abdomen, while the left upper quarter and arm also stiffen.  The whole, thus, creates strong muscular tension in the biceps, across my left breast and up my left neck, both internally and externally.

 

The musculature associated with my left eye and ear becomes permanently stressed, as the eye and ear strain to listen to and look at what, they are led to believe, may be a threat arriving from the left.

My bladder and anal sphincters tighten, together with a simultaneous ‘locking’ of my throat and neck at the level of my thyroid gland - with an unbalanced feeling of restriction, strongest on its left side.

The right eye and ear become ‘detuned’ - still retaining their proper function, but allowing greater concentration on the looking and listening to the left.

There is much more detail to which I shall return in an article that I have been trying to write for some time.  An article that will also describe the various strategies and exercises that I have devised to try to counteract the deterioration that must inevitably result if it all goes unchecked (remembering that I am 88, and yet still want to maintain my mental and physical faculties for as long as possible.)

Help, when it came, arrived completely unexpectedly and, one might say, bizarrely, in the shape of a three CD boxed set – a gift from a very good friend.

No, not music and the Mozart effect and all that, but in the form of a lecture or discourse that occupied all of the CDs.  And it was not the actual content of the lecture either.  With his title “The Biology of Belief”, Dr. Bruce H. Lipton began, and talked, and talked - continuously in a voice barely above a monotone, although somehow managing to imbue it with enthusiasm.

Slowly, logically, persuasively, non-stop through three CDs, he led through basic cell structure, proteins, cell membranes, DNA.  Building, building an argument that reached its climax in the whole person and the influence of the mind and beliefs upon its ultimate function.

But no! - it was none of that.  My experiences began within two minutes of my commencing to listen.  Listen I did, intently, because I was now in new territory and my friend had been so enthusiastic in making the gift.  And as I listened, I became aware that all of the locked in tensions, stiffness and semi paralyses were releasing and revitalising.  But it was not the result of what I heard.  No - here I was completely immersed in language, logic and coherent argument – I was entirely within the recesses of my left brain, and my inner mammal responded as it had evolved to do – to the ‘threat’ that might this time come from the now opposite direction.  And a new ‘polarisation’ began to establish.

And it did not happen just that once.  No: each time I listen, and within thirty seconds, the same changes occur.  I have become so bored with the arguments and discussion that I don’t listen in logical sequence – I simply switch in at random, focus entirely on his voice – and receive my therapy.  My left buttock and testicle (and all my genitalia) suddenly feel normal and in harmony: my left foot and right hand grip no longer and the sphincters begin to relax.  My right foot is restored to a feeling of normality, and hitherto unnoticed stresses across my left breast gently unwind.

I have ‘worked’ the sequence many, many times since the initial surprise event, and have observed many subtleties in where and how release and relaxation occur – far too many to describe in this short note.  To me, and in the general context in which I am writing, most significant is what follows the release of the sphincters.

 

The left shoulder loses its semi-permanent hunch, returning to the normal level for a right handed person, i.e. slightly higher than the right (See note at # ).  This return to ‘normality’ facilitates the liberation of the whole cervical spine and associated muscles, while the throat with all of its internal components becomes more free, resulting in an unquantifiable ‘release’ around the thyroid, and apparent increase in blood flow to and from the brain.

Tensions that hitherto were unobserved, having become part of my normal structure, now release in my left face, around the left eye and all over my scalp.  The feeling of mental well-being is remarkable.

Sometime ago, I read a note in which Sigmund Freud described a patient who, he believed, was in the early stages of MS.  In particular, I remember his comments following her statement that “My left eyebrow is numb, and I have trouble moving my right foot…” and his opinion that she was on a downward path from which there was no return.

I recall it from time to time when my own left eyebrow and right foot behave as I have described.  Fortunately, I know the cause, and provide relief, but my suggestion that what I observe and then correct may relate to MS, is strengthened when one now learns that within the development of the illness, one or both jugular veins becomes constricted – which relates to what I observe in myself.

Further, as it is sometimes asserted that there is a close link between MS and Alzheimer’s disease, what I detect in relation to blood flow and mental well-being may equally have relevance.

Much is being written and otherwise communicated about the development in Terry Pratchett of a condition that appears to be a form of Alzheimer’s disease.  With only knowledge that is in the public domain, I nevertheless see my analysis applying to him also.  Applying to a much higher degree, for his whole life appears to be devoted to his writing; writing that involves far more concentration and imagination than mine.

(See note on final page below referring to changes in his health)

Furthermore, he writes with four computer screens occupying his total visual focus for many hours.  The ‘mammal within’ does not habitually stare in forward focus.  Such a state is normally the result of confrontation, possibly against a foe.  Confrontation that normally is resolved fairly quickly.

The ‘mammal within’ requires wide-ranging peripheral vision and frequent eye movement.  I am fortunate in that where I live I have wide horizons as soon as I step outside, and the movement of birds, cattle and horses, trees and clouds, and I can sense the benefit that I derive as my eyes are constantly moving and changing focus. 

I well remember a recent winter and the time when it was just changing into spring.  It had gone on for so long – grey, wet, cold, with very little incentive to go outside, and with the vision confined to TV and computer screens and print.  Then one day I took off for my nearby shore, on a day of almost unbelievable clarity and light – and the liberation was astonishing.  My eyes ranged back and forth along the absolutely pin-sharp horizon ‘luxuriating’ in their liberation: while the feeling within my whole self amounted almost to a rebirth.  It was unforgettable.

Yes – unforgettable.  And unforgettable was the ‘purging’ of my lungs with ocean air.  Air straight from the North Atlantic – pure and unpolluted – and ‘alive’.  Air that seemed to sweep around my brain – scouring away any remaining dross.

As I try to bring this article to a logical conclusion, many other examples jostle for attention, all worthy of inclusion, but the article would become too long, so I’ll confine myself to just two.  The first has been described and analysed many time in my writing about voice hearing.

I have heard voices and experienced many other allied phenomena for more than thirty years, fortunately without having become ill, and I describe and analyse my experiences in my book* and Blog.  I assert – with absolute certainty – that the phenomena are created by spiritual intrusion into my mind and body.

I have experienced ‘intrusions’ of different natures and purpose, from the absolute benign to the absolute malign.  The former, in fact, do not intrude, and have contributed much to my understanding of the spiritual state of being.

The malign have but one purpose, and that is to attach, subvert and ultimately take over a person’s mind and functions.  In my book, I describe a number of different ‘ploys’ that are used as they attempt to do this.  Some are directly confrontational and aim at domination.  Others are simple yet subtle.  The constant chattering, nattering, “…do it this way”, “why don’t you…” may be in one’s mind continuously from one’s first thoughts on waking, until sleep takes over again.  One finds oneself ‘hearing’ without specifically ‘listening’ although the effect can easily be the same.  The ‘intruders’ use the faculties of the ‘right brain’, and the resulting consequences of the constant voice in the mind are identical to those that follow one’s own  inner right brain thought processes and mental imaging, and which I have described above.

I live alone and am not undermined because I understand what is happening.  Many voice hearers live lives of isolation, do not understand, and consequently may become very ill.

The second example that I have chosen from all those that ‘jostle for attention’ relates to what may be dire physical consequences that follow from the permanent cross-body polarisation.  I have drawn attention to the permanent stresses that may exist in the muscles across my left breast.  For a number of years I gave assistance at a cancer care centre where the so-called Bristol Therapy was promoted.  There I found a general consensus that the site of a woman’s first breast cancer was likely to be on the left in a proportion of four to one.  Breast cancer was the most frequent form that one encountered, and I can recollect just one person there whose first episode had been in the right breast.

My late sister-in-law succumbed to cancer of the right breast, and she told me that her surgeon had said that she was in the only 20% of women who initially developed the illness on the right side.  She was very ‘verbal’, and possibly a strong ‘left brain’ candidate.

Essentially, I am simply making the proposition that the stresses of which I write may be inhibiting natural circulation of blood and lymph and may be creating a fertile ‘soil’ in which the tumours can develop.  Incidentally, among my friends and acquaintances who have developed mastitis following giving birth, in every one it was the left breast that became inflamed.

POSTSCRIPT – SIR TERRY PRATCHETT.

Since I wrote the above, Sir Terry has dropped out of the headlines, to the extent that I had to look in the Internet to find out whether or not he is still alive.  I was delighted to discover that he is, and is still writing. 

This is what Wikipedia reports –

Because of his condition, Pratchett currently writes either by dictating to his assistant, Rob Wilkins, or by using speech recognition software.

In September 2012 Pratchett stated in an interview "

“I have to tell you that I thought I’d be a lot worse than this by now, and so did my specialist."

In the interview it was stated that the cognitive part of his mind was "untouched", and his symptoms relating to the condition were physical (which is normal for PCA) and that putting a book together was actually better and easier now that it was done by dictation.

In my own interpretation, the ‘thinking, planning, imagining’ have been brought together with speech, involving both sides of the brain, bringing new life to the inert and under-used ‘left brain’ functions of speech, language and logic, and hence to the whole person.

Also – and this is so fundamentally important –

as he speaks, he breathes.

Yes, no longer the shallow ‘whisper breathing’ of concentration about which I wrote earlier, but ‘speech breathing’ bringing with it, life and possibly rejuvenation to the oxygen starved brain.

 ROY VINCENT

(Revised May 2014)

# Described in detail in Chapters 13 & 14 of my book, and illustrated with photographs of nude models.

* ”LISTENING TO THE SILENCES in a world of hearing voices.”

Free on www.royvincent.org  and in paperback.

Also www.roycvincent.blogspot.com

THE ORIGINAL "BLACK BOX" - LOOK NO FURTHER

THE ORIGINAL “BLACK BOX”

LOOK NO FURTHER...

Each week in the UK RADIO TIMES magazine, there is a ‘dictionary corner’ feature in which a Lexicographer responds to queries from readers in which they ask for explanations of the origins of words/phrases.

The entry for the magazine issue for April 26^th prompted me to write what follows:-

I read the DICTIONARY CORNER (Radio Times, April 26) about the origins of the term ‘black box’, with growing disbelief that someone could write so much twaddle about a topic of which they are so completely ignorant.  There was just one actual fact – the flight data recorder is orange and not black – so why ‘black box’?

I first encountered the term when I began my training as a radar specialist in the Royal Navy during World War 2.  I am now well over 88.

This was a time of major advances in electronic technology – radar was in its infancy – and much was going on in the research field.  This was also long before transistors and miniaturisation, and involved thermionic valves, large resistors and capacitors and transformers, all of which had to be assembled gradually into working circuits. 

Each element of a circuit was developed individually on a 30cm square board – known as a ‘breadboard’ – because it resembled a domestic breadboard.  As the circuits were refined, breadboards were joined together until a full working unit was complete.  Everything was then put together on a metal base or chassis for further refinement.

Eventually, the unit on its chassis had all of the bugs removed and then the chassis was given its ultimate container, or box.  The box had a stove enamelled front with all of the controls and indicators.  The stove enamelling was always of one colour… like Henry Ford’s original cars – you can have any colour as long as it is….

YES, DEAR CHILDREN, WE HAVE NOW ARRIVED AT THE ORIGINAL BLACK BOX….!

The complete radar equipment, gunnery control or what have you was then assembled for the presentation to the Top Brass of the Services, Ministers of State, and procurement officials for their approval and ultimate funding and manufacture.

The Boffins who had designed and made the gear were also assembled, and the Chief  Boffin – knowing that the assembled onlookers wouldn’t have a clue about the electronic content of the units spread out before them – would begin with the immortal phrase – NOW GENTLEMEN, WILL YOU PLEASE JUST CONSIDER THESE AS A SERIES OF BLACK BOXES - - -!!!

YES, THE ‘BLACK BOX’ EXPLANATION HAD JUST BEGUN – EVERY INNOVATIVE ELECTRONIC DEVICE WAS A ‘BLACK BOX’ WHEN IT CAME TO TRYING TO EXPLAIN ITS FUNCTION TO THE LAITY.

AND SO IT WAS WHEN THE TACHOGRAPH WAS FITTED TO LORRIES AND BUSES, AND SO IT WAS WHEN AIRCRAFT BEGAN TO USE FLIGHT DATA RECORDERS.

BUT TO CONTINUE TO CALL A THING A BLACK BOX WHEN YOU KNOW THAT IT IS A FLIGHT DATA RECORDER OR TACHOGRAPH, IS JUST THE SAME AS SAYING ‘GEE GEE’ WHEN YOU KNOW THAT IT IS A HORSE !  

One unfortunate consequence of an association with the OED is that readers might assume that the Lexicographer's ‘analysis’ carries the OED imprimatur – and actually believe it.
(OED = OXFORD ENGLISH DICTIONARY)

ROY VINCENT  APRIL 2014

WI - FI + LAP-TOP = PROSTATE CANCER ?

WI-FI + LAPTOP = PROSTATE CANCER ?

My daughter and her partner, Keith, have been together for 37 years.  Two days ago, Keith was told that the prostate cancer that he has been trying to combat for about 18 months, is now terminal.

All that is left to them is palliative care at home and “weeks or months” for a longer or shorter “goodbye”.

Keith is now 56, and did not have the ‘classic’ symptoms of frequent and difficult ‘peeing’ through the night.  In fact, the prostate wasn’t even on the ‘radar’ during the time that he was receiving treatment for an increasingly painful lower back.

With no obvious cause and increasing pain, Keith’s GP ordered a speculative psa blood test – with a result that was ‘astronomical’.  Bone scans revealed that the cancer was already in the bones of his upper torso.

Various forms of hormone therapy, radiation and chemotherapy have produced minor remissions.  But without the hoped for success.  With the inevitable outcome.

Identifying a possible cause would probably have been treated as a pointless exercise – which does not prevent me from speculating. 

Keith is a tall, robust man, who drinks very little, and hasn’t smoked for many years.  As a ‘peripatetic’ music teacher serving five schools, he is highly valued and strongly dedicated.  Which meant bringing work home.  Which meant sitting companionably with my daughter on their settee, with a lap-top computer, naturally on his lap – and a Wi-Fi connection .

Where-else would the Wi-Fi transmissions go, but through his sacrum and lumbar spine, his genitals and his prostate gland?  (It will pass through the walls of a house, so bones present few problems.)

My personal connection with electromagnetic (em) radiation started when, aged 18, I began my training in Naval radar in WW 2.  (I am now in my 89^th year).  Demobilisation and University brought me a degree in Electrical Engineering, followed by work as a measurement specialist in the nuclear industry.  Thus I am no stranger to em radiation and to its many and well-recorded dangers.

Personally, I am very, very sensitive to these forms of electrical radiation, and am unable to tolerate Wi-Fi anywhere near me (fortunately, my home is isolated and I can avoid most forms of radiation.)  However, my interest remains very much alive, and I keep it fed with the writings of such experts as the late Dr Robert O. Becker MD, and Dr Cyril Smith, together with some of the many entries and discussions that exist on the Internet – which is where you will find so very much more than I have attempted to convey in this short note.

(I shall leave it to you to picture what might happen to the reproductive organs of any female who sits with Wi-Fi and a lap-top on her lap – or to a foetus that might be within her womb…)

Roy Vincent 6^th March 2014 

This Blog contains other posts that you may find interesting, such as the one entitled "Earth Currents - Cause of Geo-pathic Illness"

Also the one that describes the problems associated with communication with nuclear submarines. 

RACING MADLY INTO DEMENTIA...

The early onset of Dementia has been recorded increasingly Worldwide, and large sums of money are currently being allocated to research into the phenomenon.

Much money can be saved, and many minds can remain healthy and active if only sufficient attention is given to another and surprisingly parallel 'phenomenon'.

By which I mean the rapid and Worldwide increase in the use of the drug named STATINS.

More and more, these are being prescribed as a 'precaution' to limit cholesterol,  rather than as a medical necessity.

They are being prescribed almost like sweeties and candy, and, seemingly, without sufficient concern being given to the seriously adverse side-effects - which are many.

Just look up 'Statins side effects' on Google, and you will be overwhelmed with report after report. 

This is a brief summary of what you will find - and there are no prizes for identifying those side-effects that mimic dementia.

STATINS SIDE EFFECTS

Gout and/or elevated uric acid.

Peripheral neuropathy.

Myopathy.

Insomnia.

Loss of libido.

Impotence.

Heart palpitations or arrhythmias.

Depression.

Memory loss – short or long-term.

Transient global amnesia.

Chest pain.

Neck and shoulder pain.

Fatigues.

Migraine headaches.

Digestive disorders.

Rabdomyolysis.

Trouble walking – either shuffling or balance.

Hand tremors.

Slurred speech or trouble finding the right word.

Dizziness.

Sciatica-like pain.

When you have had time to analyse these, and wonder whether you yourself might be taking Statins and speculate whether your own faculties may be deteriorating, why not continue into the earlier Post on this Blog - the one relating to nuclear submarines -  where you will find another, and seemingly bizarre explanation of what may be the cause of so much mental ill-health World-wide.

That Post will be updated shortly, so please keep it on your reading list - and tell your friends.

GOOD HEALTH!!!

LISTENING TO THE SILENCES - PEDRO FLORES' DOCUMENTARY IS BASED ON THIS BOOK

LISTENING TO THE SILENCES

PEDRO FLORES’ DOCUMENTARY IS BASED ON THIS BOOK

ROY VINCENT,

THE AUTHOR OF THE BOOK,

GAVE IT A SUB-TITLE –

"HEARING VOICES – SCHIZOPHRENIA

FIND HELP AND HOPE HERE"

And from the date of its publication on the Internet in 2003, the book has done just that – it has given help and hope to a large number of individuals and in many lands.

My initial contact with Pedro came in a letter in which he described the documentary that he proposed to make. 

He wrote…

“I have just finished reading your book, and I am very much impressed by your testimony….

My goal is to explore a different approach from the psychiatric tradition, to show how people can live with their voices…

As I said before, I was very much impressed by your book.  I believe both your life and literature are a truthful account of human experience and should be rapidly shared with a wider public.”

I am pleased that Pedro’s documentary has proved to be successful and has been well received at a number of film festivals.

However, as it lasts for just 11 minutes, it only touches very lightly the ‘surface’ of a life that has already lasted for 88 years, and it barely enters the covers of my book, which runs to 700 pages in the paperback version.

Ah yes!  THE BOOK!  First I lived it, then I wrote it –

all 160,000  words.

And now? 

Yes, now I urge you to read it

Entitled Listening to the Silences in a World of Hearing Voices the book is available free at www.royvincent.org   Part autobiography, it is chiefly a DIY Manual and textbook for those who hear voices and experience physical presence, and for their carers.

“Hearing Voices” usually implies ‘schizophrenia’ and mental ill-health.  My book also describes the many other and positive consequences of this widely misunderstood phenomenon.

Having read it, perhaps you will join with the others who write –

“First of all, a warm ‘thank you’ for making your remarkable book available free on the Internet,” – Carer.

“Beautifully written.”  TV Producer.

“He writes clearly in a way that will probably save someone’s life.”  StumbleUpon.

“My son is in hospital on anti-psychotic drugs.  He describes it word for word like Roy.  He has always said that it is a spiritual thing, not a mental illness.”  Mother.

“Undoubtedly, many have gone to Ashrams and got better.”  Indian Mother.

Having been invaded by malign voices and ‘presences’ while flying high over the Mediterranean, one lady wrote, “I want to thank you for writing on the Internet about your experiences.  I found it to be the only true version of what I feel happened to myself last year.  I had been looking for books to read on the subject, but found nothing useful until I came across your account.”

“My name is James Douglas A…  (ID 32----) on Georgia, US, Death Row.  I hear voices and get physically “abused”/manipulated by unseen, but very real entities I’ll call spirits of good and/or bad intent.”

“My name is Al -----, from the Philippines.  I just want to share with you something about hearing voices.  During college days, I was hooked on drugs.  (I graduated marine transportation – merchant mariner.)  …until one day I lose control of myself.  I heard people in my area gossiping about me which makes me truly change myself into something not me anymore.  I heard voices unlike other schizophrenic patients experiencing - those voices told them to kill, burn, electrify themselves.  Mine is different; voices I heard knows a lot about my behaviour and attitude.  They know my weaknesses… always contradict my movements, actions, speech, even thoughts.  So I give up and surrender myself to rehab centre.”

Having been clear of voices for some time, Al went to sea, but in mid voyage – “…unluckily voices strike again, so I decide to disembark and go home with shattered dreams… and suffering a disease which is still taboo in the Philippines. 

All I now care is, though I have an abnormal life, I want to be a father to my daughter and a husband to my wife.  Now you inspired me a lot.”

Steve…, 45 years old, wrote from his home in Leyland, UK.  He has, in fact, written many times and also visited my home.

“Now, at last, I can actually show my parents exactly what I have been trying to tell them all my life.”

“You have saved my life by drawing me back from suicide… “

“You have saved my sanity…”

Some people are reluctant to begin reading the book because it is so long – although, the people who need it, do read it – and re-read it.  They re-read it because they realise that every word that is written is there because it comes from actual personal and ’spiritual’ experience and not just from psychiatric ‘theory’.

Recognising this reluctance to read the book, prompted me to provide two ‘samples’ of the text to help you make up your mind.  I have placed them in my second Blog – www.roycvincent2@blogspot.com

Each one in its own way is a human horror story.

The first post, entitled “We had to destroy it to save it”, is actually the first chapter of the book, and describes how my life, home, family and career were virtually destroyed as the result of a medical mis-diagnosis and what is now regarded as criminally inept psychiatry.

The next four chapters of the book describe how I was able to recover and begin a new life – a vastly different life, as you will find if you read the second post on the Blog, which is entitled “Oh what a world of unseen visions and heard silences…”.

Forming the sixth chapter of the book, this post describes exactly how I first began to hear voices and how I began to experience physical presences within my body.

Even though I described it as a horror story, in reality all that happened formed a prelude to a new life, and I am so very glad that I have lived through it.  So very glad, because in this new life I received unshakable evidence of the existence of a spiritual state of being.

My experiences confirmed what every culture that has ever existed has found, and has then recorded.

They confirmed the existence of this spiritual state that parallels and interweaves with our own.

I experienced ‘voices’ in my mind, and I experienced physical presences within my body and senses.  I experienced the absolutely malign, and the absolutely benign. 

And I still do, to this very day.

And yet, I have never become ill.

If you are curious, and want to know how my life developed subsequently, why then, you must read chapter seven, which has the title – “If you have a thousand reasons for living…”

I have found my thousand reasons, and many more in the 35 years that have since passed, and I continue to write about them.  I write on this Blog and I am published in a variety of outlets, and even though I am now eighty-eight, I will continue to write for as long as I am able.

THIS IS ME IN MY GARDEN JUST A FEW YEARS AGO

AND THESE ARE TWO 'FRIENDS' WHO SOMETIMES KEEP ME COMPANY....

CYBER BULLYING - HEARING VOICES

CYBER BULLYING

HEARING VOICES

Do you want to know how young people can be threatened, dominated, terrorised and driven to

commit suicide by voices in their minds?

You will find an absolute parallel in this world of

cyber bullying that currently is being described so vividly in the media.

The evil, the language and the techniques are

identical - it is only the route into the mind that is different.

Ruth was just thirty.  She had ‘heard voices’ for a number of years – indeed, she had received psychiatric treatment.  However, she still continued to ‘hear voices’, and also to be the victim of intrusive physical presences in her mind and body.

She coped as best she could, until she was ‘invaded’ by a very strong physical intrusion and powerful presence.

Declaring itself to be GOD, it was, at first, warm and encouraging.  Gradually, however, Ruth found herself being analysed and then criticised.  Finally, she was ‘condemned’ as being not fit to inhabit the Earth.

She was filth – no better than a turd – she must remove herself from ‘humanity’ as speedily as possible.  There is that bus – that lorry – go on… JUMP.

Ruth quailed at the sight of the thundering wheels…

RIGHT!  THERE’S THE RIVER.. YOU ARE ON THE BRIDGE

NOW.. JUMP!!

ALONE, AND TERRIFIED OUT OF HER MIND…

 RUTH…. JUMPED…

When she hit the water, somehow she kept her mouth shut and didn’t swallow any….  and then, as from nowhere, she ‘heard’ a new voice – a calm voice – a voice that simply commanded her – ‘Swim’,  and she managed to swim to the shore – a muddy tidal shore.

Ruth tried to get to her feet, but floundered in the mud.  Whereupon the same calm voice again commanded her – ‘Crawl’.  And so she crawled through the slimy mud, losing her shoes and her lower clothes in the process.

And that was how she appeared at the front door of a near-by house – the home of someone she new well – barefoot, covered in mud from head to feet, naked from the waist down – and almost out of her mind.

+ + + +

Morag was married with two young children of school age.  Each morning she saw her husband off to work and the children off to school, and began her usual chores…

                  …and then, without fail, the voices took over – gently, almost soothingly… companionable at first… then, as with Ruth, needling, criticising, condemning – then threatening – demanding that she kill her children and then kill herself…

Each day, she ended up cowering in a corner with the curtains drawn – terrified…  until, almost like a new day dawning, the terror gradually subsided, and she was able to open the curtains and somehow resume again her role of wife and mother.

It is oh! so very hard to believe that intelligent adult individuals could succumb to these threats – this terror.  Terror that can take them to near or actual suicide.

In a similar manner, I still find it hard to come to terms with the fact that over thirty years ago, when I was fifty-five and in my prime, I found myself in exactly the same situation.  Not suicidal, but threatened and terrorised. 

In exactly the same way as a modern youngster follows up an interesting and innocent lead into the unknown dimensions and inhabitants of the computer screen, smart-phone and cyber-space, so did I, using a pendulum, follow an interesting and seemingly innocent way into the spiritual equivalent, its voices and ‘inhabitants’.

If you wish, you may read my full story in the book that I have written*, or, if the book itself is too long, you may go to my second Blog* where I have posted the key Chapter which describes the onset of ‘voices’.  (* details later.)

  

Beginning with my innocent experimentation with dowsing rods and pendulum, my writing takes you next to the absolutely key moment when, while sitting peacefully in a meditative quiet…

“a presence that I could not see, moved from the space in front of me, into me.  Immediately, my mind was charged with another ‘voice’ or provoker of thoughts – thoughts over which, then, I had no control.  In my head began conversation as between two separate people – I began to ‘hear voices’.”

Physical presence which can try to make my body react against my will.  A ‘voice’ or ‘voices’ in my mind 

- intelligent voices capable of rational conversation.

Not auditory hallucinations.
 

Not one side of my brain ‘talking to the other’. 

Not a chemical imbalance in my brain.
 

Not illusions, nor yet delusions.

Because of what I had been doing at the outset of my experiences…  Because every day, every hour in the intervening thirty years have confirmed it…  I know with absolute certainty that my experiences result from spiritual intrusion and presence within my mind, brain, body and senses.

I could go on and on, but my book and Blog tell the full story.  What I am left with here and now is an attempt to find the words that can convey to you the absolute isolation of someone who is locked in this situation.  Obviously, it does not happen to me now, but the memory and recollection of those times are still very potent.

Memory and recollection that enable me to identify completely with the isolated youngster today – possibly alone in bedroom with all the screens, gadgets and gismos that make modern life worth living.  

Electronic wizardry that conveys the derisory, insulting and threatening messages and images that prey on lonely, vulnerable mind.

And just as I, in broad daylight at 10 am, found it impossible to convey to anyone - to find the words to tell anyone - of the threats and ‘terrors’ of the previous 3 am, so the cyber-threatened youngster – even adult – cannot put into words – probably cannot even approach parent or other adult - to try to explain their fears, or describe the threats that may be in front of their eyes or in their ears, each time they switch on computer, tablet or mobile phone.

For five years, I sat at my computer writing my book.

 There were times when I felt just like a skinned rabbit as I opened up everything – all of my innermost self, as I attempted to convince anyone who would read that the voices and presences were the result of spiritual intrusion.  

Frequently, I felt like giving up, but sustained myself with the thought that if I could just save only one mind from these agonies, one person from suicide, it would all have been worthwhile.

Well, it has been ‘worthwhile’ – and not just one person.  From the Philippines to Alaska, letters and emails have arrived thanking me for the book – and yes, on occasions, telling me that I have ‘pulled them back from suicide’.  It has been so rewarding, so humbling to read, “You have saved my sanity.”  “You have saved my life.” 

And the email from the Philippines that literally brought tears to my eyes – from a seafarer who had been forced by uncontrollable voices to give up the sea – the email concluded “… Now all I want is to be a husband to my wife, and a father to my daughter.  Now you inspire me a lot.”

You see, my book is a DIY Manual for voice hearers, carers and professionals.  But, maybe, not only for them.  It is possible that in my descriptions and analysis of the workings and threats of the faceless tormentors, you may find the ways to understand and combat the ‘faceless tormentors’ of the cyber world.

The book – Listening to the Silences – is free to download at www.royvincent.org

As I have commented, it is long, because I found that my entire ‘story’ was relevant – just as every day in your life has been ‘relevant’.  However, I recognise that many will want a short form, and so I have copied the most important chapter and posted it at www.roycvincent2.blogspot.com  

 The post is headed “O what a world of unseen visions and heard silences”.  It recounts in detail the sequence of events that led to my first hearing voices, and is essential if you wish to understand why I am so absolutely and unshakeably certain that the voices and physical interventions that I experience are spiritual in origin.

I do so urge you to read the complete book, for in it you will find many examples of how I received positive help and encouragement from truly benign spiritual presences.  (www.royvincent.org)  

If you cannot do that, then read Chapter One.  (I have posted an abridged version entitled 

"WE HAD TO DESTROY IT TO SAVE IT" 

on my second Blog www.roycvincent2.blogspot.com )   

There you will read something that is so very relevant to my theme in this essay.  I describe how, as the result of a medical mis-diagnosis and what is now regarded as criminally inept psychiatry, I had arrived at a point where I simply could not go on.  I desperately wanted to die…  to commit suicide.

Why didn’t I just go out and do it?  Why didn’t I, - as one Consultant Psychiatrist asked me – why didn't I just go to a high place and jump off? 

There was a reason – if ‘reason’ I had at that time – I had to devise an ‘accident’, as I believed that my insurance policies would not be valid if I had committed suicide.  And such was my state of mind at the time, and with all of my engineering skills, I just could not devise a credible accident.

Before I succeeded in achieving my own death, circumstances in my life changed sufficiently to draw me back from my intention.  But I have never lost my recollection of that time, and the abiding memory that links me to these young people who are being driven to suicide.  It is this –

There is no place on Earth – no place more lonely than the mind of someone who is planning to take their own life.

Of that, you can have no doubt.

 

And there is something else about which you can have no doubt.

That Consultant Psychiatrist should never have been allowed anywhere near the minds of desperately vulnerable individuals.

 

Never!