Sunday, 18 August 2013




Do you want to know how young people can be threatened, dominated, terrorised and driven to
commit suicide by voices in their minds?

You will find an absolute parallel in this world of
cyber bullying that currently is being described so vividly in the media.

The evil, the language and the techniques are
identical - it is only the route into the mind that is different.

Ruth was just thirty.  She had ‘heard voices’ for a number of years – indeed, she had received psychiatric treatment.  However, she still continued to ‘hear voices’, and also to be the victim of intrusive physical presences in her mind and body.

She coped as best she could, until she was ‘invaded’ by a very strong physical intrusion and powerful presence.

Declaring itself to be GOD, it was, at first, warm and encouraging.  Gradually, however, Ruth found herself being analysed and then criticised.  Finally, she was ‘condemned’ as being not fit to inhabit the Earth.

She was filth – no better than a turd – she must remove herself from ‘humanity’ as speedily as possible.  There is that bus – that lorry – go on… JUMP.

Ruth quailed at the sight of the thundering wheels…





When she hit the water, somehow she kept her mouth shut and didn’t swallow any….  and then, as from nowhere, she ‘heard’ a new voice – a calm voice – a voice that simply commanded her – Swim,  and she managed to swim to the shore – a muddy tidal shore.

Ruth tried to get to her feet, but floundered in the mud.  Whereupon the same calm voice again commanded her – ‘Crawl’.  And so she crawled through the slimy mud, losing her shoes and her lower clothes in the process.

And that was how she appeared at the front door of a near-by house – the home of someone she new well – barefoot, covered in mud from head to feet, naked from the waist down – and almost out of her mind.

+ + + +

Morag was married with two young children of school age.  Each morning she saw her husband off to work and the children off to school, and began her usual chores…

                  …and then, without fail, the voices took over – gently, almost soothingly… companionable at first… then, as with Ruth, needling, criticising, condemning – then threatening – demanding that she kill her children and then kill herself…

Each day, she ended up cowering in a corner with the curtains drawn – terrified…  until, almost like a new day dawning, the terror gradually subsided, and she was able to open the curtains and somehow resume again her role of wife and mother.

It is oh! so very hard to believe that intelligent adult individuals could succumb to these threats – this terror.  Terror that can take them to near or actual suicide.

In a similar manner, I still find it hard to come to terms with the fact that over thirty years ago, when I was fifty-five and in my prime, I found myself in exactly the same situation.  Not suicidal, but threatened and terrorised. 

In exactly the same way as a modern youngster follows up an interesting and innocent lead into the unknown dimensions and inhabitants of the computer screen, smart-phone and cyber-space, so did I, using a pendulum, follow an interesting and seemingly innocent way into the spiritual equivalent, its voices and ‘inhabitants’.

If you wish, you may read my full story in the book that I have written*, or, if the book itself is too long, you may go to my second Blog* where I have posted the key Chapter which describes the onset of ‘voices’.  (* details later.)
Beginning with my innocent experimentation with dowsing rods and pendulum, my writing takes you next to the absolutely key moment when, while sitting peacefully in a meditative quiet…

“a presence that I could not see, moved from the space in front of me, into me.  Immediately, my mind was charged with another ‘voice’ or provoker of thoughts – thoughts over which, then, I had no control.  In my head began conversation as between two separate people – I began to ‘hear voices’.”

Physical presence which can try to make my body react against my will.  A ‘voice’ or ‘voices’ in my mind 

- intelligent voices capable of rational conversation.

Not auditory hallucinations.
Not one side of my brain ‘talking to the other’. 
Not a chemical imbalance in my brain.
Not illusions, nor yet delusions.

Because of what I had been doing at the outset of my experiences…  Because every day, every hour in the intervening thirty years have confirmed it…  I know with absolute certainty that my experiences result from spiritual intrusion and presence within my mind, brain, body and senses.

I could go on and on, but my book and Blog tell the full story.  What I am left with here and now is an attempt to find the words that can convey to you the absolute isolation of someone who is locked in this situation.  Obviously, it does not happen to me now, but the memory and recollection of those times are still very potent.

Memory and recollection that enable me to identify completely with the isolated youngster today – possibly alone in bedroom with all the screens, gadgets and gismos that make modern life worth living.  

Electronic wizardry that conveys the derisory, insulting and threatening messages and images that prey on lonely, vulnerable mind.

And just as I, in broad daylight at 10 am, found it impossible to convey to anyone - to find the words to tell anyone - of the threats and ‘terrors’ of the previous 3 am, so the cyber-threatened youngster – even adult – cannot put into words – probably cannot even approach parent or other adult - to try to explain their fears, or describe the threats that may be in front of their eyes or in their ears, each time they switch on computer, tablet or mobile phone.

For five years, I sat at my computer writing my book.

 There were times when I felt just like a skinned rabbit as I opened up everything – all of my innermost self, as I attempted to convince anyone who would read that the voices and presences were the result of spiritual intrusion.  

Frequently, I felt like giving up, but sustained myself with the thought that if I could just save only one mind from these agonies, one person from suicide, it would all have been worthwhile.

Well, it has been ‘worthwhile’ – and not just one person.  From the Philippines to Alaska, letters and emails have arrived thanking me for the book – and yes, on occasions, telling me that I have ‘pulled them back from suicide’.  It has been so rewarding, so humbling to read, “You have saved my sanity.”  “You have saved my life.” 

And the email from the Philippines that literally brought tears to my eyes – from a seafarer who had been forced by uncontrollable voices to give up the sea – the email concluded “… Now all I want is to be a husband to my wife, and a father to my daughter.  Now you inspire me a lot.”

You see, my book is a DIY Manual for voice hearers, carers and professionals.  But, maybe, not only for them.  It is possible that in my descriptions and analysis of the workings and threats of the faceless tormentors, you may find the ways to understand and combat the ‘faceless tormentors’ of the cyber world.

The book – Listening to the Silences – is free to download at

As I have commented, it is long, because I found that my entire ‘story’ was relevant – just as every day in your life has been ‘relevant’.  However, I recognise that many will want a short form, and so I have copied the most important chapter and posted it at  

 The post is headed “O what a world of unseen visions and heard silences”.  It recounts in detail the sequence of events that led to my first hearing voices, and is essential if you wish to understand why I am so absolutely and unshakeably certain that the voices and physical interventions that I experience are spiritual in origin.

I do so urge you to read the complete book, for in it you will find many examples of how I received positive help and encouragement from truly benign spiritual presences.  (  

If you cannot do that, then read Chapter One.  (I have posted an abridged version entitled 


on my second Blog )   

There you will read something that is so very relevant to my theme in this essay.  I describe how, as the result of a medical mis-diagnosis and what is now regarded as criminally inept psychiatry, I had arrived at a point where I simply could not go on.  I desperately wanted to die…  to commit suicide.

Why didn’t I just go out and do it?  Why didn’t I, - as one Consultant Psychiatrist asked me – why didn't I just go to a high place and jump off? 

There was a reason – if ‘reason’ I had at that time – I had to devise an ‘accident’, as I believed that my insurance policies would not be valid if I had committed suicide.  And such was my state of mind at the time, and with all of my engineering skills, I just could not devise a credible accident.

Before I succeeded in achieving my own death, circumstances in my life changed sufficiently to draw me back from my intention.  But I have never lost my recollection of that time, and the abiding memory that links me to these young people who are being driven to suicide.  It is this –

There is no place on Earth – no place more lonely than the mind of someone who is planning to take their own life.

Of that, you can have no doubt.
And there is something else about which you can have no doubt.

That Consultant Psychiatrist should never have been allowed anywhere near the minds of desperately vulnerable individuals.