Monday 8 December 2008

HEARING VOICES IN MY MIND – THE DAY IT ALL BEGAN

HEARING VOICES IN MY MIND

THE DAY IT ALL BEGAN





To recall that day, I have to take you back to 1979 to give you a glimpse into part of my life. I live on a smallholding on the western slopes of the Lake District in Cumbria, and, at the time, the day began with chores that revolved around the horses that I owned then. However, at eleven o’clock, I always set aside time for personal reflection. I would sit quietly in an upstairs room that gave me spectacular views towards the summits of some of the Lakeland mountains, and there I practised a simple form of meditation.

This particular morning the sky was clear and a bright sun shone on the summits of Scafell, Great Gable, Yewbarrow and the rest. I settled into my chair, easing my neck onto the high wingback, and rolling my head gently from side to side to smooth out any tensions.

Then something happened that was so dramatic and far-reaching, and yet, paradoxically, was completely devoid of drama. A ‘presence’ that I could not see, moved from the space in front of me, into me. Immediately, my mind was charged with another voice or provoker of thoughts; thoughts over which, then, I had no control and which were not initiated by me. In my head began conversation as between two separate people, one of whom was me.



I BEGAN TO HEAR VOICES

In the years that have followed and my ‘story’ has often been told, many individuals focus on the ‘voice’ or ‘voices’. To me, the most important element within that morning’s events is contained in the phrase “…a presence…moved into me.” Yes, a physical presence.
From that day to this, I have never been free from voices and intrusive physical presences. I have learned much and have written much – hence the book.

Entitled “Listening to the Silences in a world of hearing voices”, it tells you exactly what happened then and subsequently, and explains why I have never become ill as a result of my experiences. I have never become ill because I know, without any shadow of doubt, that what I experience is of spiritual origin. Yes, with absolute certainty – spiritual. I try to steer clear of all religions, and deep psychiatric/psychological theory, and write entirely with the mindset and language of an engineer – which is what I am.

Comments from a variety of sources serve to indicate whether or not I have been successful. A television producer said: “It is beautifully written”.
   
On ‘StumbleUpon’, someone with the delightful nickname of ‘Pervypeahead’ wrote: “He pours water over many unhelpful myths and writes clearly in a way that will probably save someone’s life.”

A mother wrote: “My son is in hospital on antipsychotic drugs. He describes it word for word like Roy. He has always said that it is a spiritual thing and not a mental illness.”

Anne-Marie’s letter says: “I want to say thanks for writing on the Internet about your experiences, I found it to be the only true version of what I feel happened to me last year. I had been looking for books to read on the subject, but found nothing useful until I came across your account.”

From a Portuguese film producer came: “I was very much impressed by your book, I believe both your life and literature are a truthful account of human experience and should be rapidly shared with a wider public.” He has spent some time with me filming material for a documentary about my life.

And finally, from a mother in India, deeply concerned about her son and his anti-psychotic drug regime – we had been discussing ‘spiritual’ alternatives. She commented: “Undoubtedly, many have gone to ashrams and been cured. But here in the heart of Mumbai, what can we do but accept the drugs – and anyway, the doctors terrify you!”

If anyone wants to write to me privately, there is a contact address in my book on line. The web address is www.royvincent.org where the book is free. Many prefer to hold an actual book, and recently it has been published in softback. The publisher’s address is www.chipmunkapublishing.com