I have been hearing voices for nearly thirty years - without becoming ill. I have written a book "Listening to the Silences" which describes my experiences and which offers many insights. The book is meant for voice-hearers, carers and professionals.
I shall be extremely grateful for anything that is done to promote the book and the fundamental knowledge that it contains. It is free to download at www.royvincent.org You may communicate directly using
The faces of two laughing and happy young women have
looked out at us from television screen and newspaper – and inevitably, we
smile back – until, almost with a shock, we realise that the two heads have
only one body.
Yes, ‘shock’ – and then we look some more, and see the
girls – yes, two girls, Brittany and Abby– we see them as an integral part of a
very happy family: part of a very happy social group.
And then the imagination takes over, and we wonder and
In my own case, eventually I realised that the imagination
and speculation were creating ‘intrusive’ thoughts. At which point I decided to move on – happy
for the two girls in their strange life, but equally content to proceed with my
own life. A life that at times equally can
Although, before leaving Abby and Brittany and my imagination – and yours,
perhaps – may I explore the thought of driving along the road, and then,
suddenly, meeting ‘the girls’ as they drive toward me…
Yes, my life – my life that equally can be strange – different
- but with similarities that I ask you to explore with your own imagination.
Strange in that I live with internal voices and physical
presence – voices that are not ‘generated by me, and a physical presence that
is not my own.
I have recently passed my 90th birthday. In 1977, I retired early from a career as a
Senior Instrument Engineer in the Sellafield Nuclear Plant, and began a
different life as a countryman. A life
that revolved around my home and my horses in this smallholding that sits on
the slopes of the western hills of the English Lake District.
I made new friends: walked and rode, and cultivated my
Each morning, I followed a practice learned from my
Mother, and, at eleven o’clock, I just sat in a meditative stillness for about
fifteen minutes. Not religious nor following
any esoteric practice – just ‘being’ and reflecting.
Then one particular day, I sat as usual in an upstairs
room, from where I could gaze over the distant hills. I had hardly settled in my chair and relaxed,
when a physical ‘presence’ that I could not see, moved from the space in front of me – into me.
Immediately, my mind was charged with another ‘voice’ – a
provoker of thoughts that were not mine, and were not initiated by me.
At that moment, I began to hear voices.
And then, there was the physical feeling – and how to describe
it in such a way that you can relate to it.
Abby and Brittany
have always been accustomed to sharing their ‘inner space’, but not me. I know that it may sound silly, and appear
trite, but look at these Russian dolls, and imagine that you, as the principal
doll, have this ‘other’ within you. An
’other’ that is a close inner ‘fit’. An
’other’ that is able to use parts of your mind and memory. An ’other’ that is capable of inducing
physical and emotional reactions and responses….
Use your imagination, and you might get an inkling of what
it can be like to ‘hear voices: to have internal physical presence: to be
subject to attempts to dominate you and control your actions and reactions.
And then see whether you can really believe that it is all
caused by ‘a chemical imbalance in the brain.’
Or see whether you can believe that it is the result of ‘one side of the
brain talking to the other’.
Because of what I had been doing in the preceding several
months, I know, with absolute certainty, that what I experience is the result
of spiritual intrusion into my mind, body and senses. Yes, unshakable certainty!
Returning to Brittany
and Abby – in all that I saw in the media, they are very happy, cooperative, at
one in their moods. Speaking as one, but
also as individuals. Completing each
other’s remarks…. In other words, the
absolute picture of harmony and cooperation.
May I ask you again, in furtherance of my attempts to illustrate
the reality of spiritual intrusion – may I ask you to use your imagination?
Just try to imagine what it would be like if that harmony
and cooperation didn’t exist. What if
one girl was constantly morose? What if
the other chattered and chattered mindlessly for large parts of the day? What if one constantly negated the
suggestions and plans of the other?
What if….? I could
go on and on with ‘what ifs’, but it is you who are meant to be imagining. I know what it is like to experience all of
these ‘what ifs’. I know, because for
more than thirty years I have experienced them in all the possible shades and
variants that your most vivid imagination could conjure up.
What is more, I have written about them. For five years, I sat at my computer and
wrote what eventually became a book. I
wrote it to inform anyone who would read it, just what it is like to hear
voices and experience physical presence and all of the other variants that may
be grouped under the heading of ‘schizophrenia’.
And for all of this time, and through all of these
variants, I have never become ill from this cause. I have never become ill because, as I wrote
above with such emphasis, I know with absolute certainty that my experiences
result from spiritual intrusion.
And then, consider this.
In the theme and essence of what I have written, I find that I have been
following a ‘noble’ tradition. Tradition
in the sense that every culture and society that has ever existed and left a record
– every culture has acknowledged the existence of a spiritual state of being. A separate state of being that parallels and
interfaces with that of humanity.
Furthermore, all cultures have, in their different ways, acknowledged
the existence of spiritual ‘good’ and ‘evil’. I have experienced the full spectrum of these,
from the deeply malign, to the supremely benign. I do not write of these in ‘religious’ terms,
but in the context of everyday life. In
the context, for example, of working on and improving my house, when I have had
much assistance from the benign.
In contrast to the malign, and in general, the benign do
not deliver advice in ‘direct voice’.
Rather do they ‘offer’ the essence of the advice ‘subliminally’ and
without comment, so that one may make up one’s own mind whether or not to
accept it and proceed.
In my book, I describe my experiences in great detail, and
as they occurred in the sequence of my life.
The book is long, and so, in an effort to encourage its use, I am selecting
certain key chapters and posting them on my second Blog, firstname.lastname@example.org
So determined am I that I should inform and convince as
many readers as possible, who are prepared to open their minds and accept the
truth of what I write – so determined am I that I am even prepared to use the
medium of poetry.
Here is one of my ‘master-works’….
CONTROLLED BY THE VOICE
not these voices that enter my head,
physical ‘other’ that escorts me to bed.
it seems, then, was my middle name
first I tried dowsing - but ‘twas not a game.
drove me. But most curious I found,
voices that spoke without making a sound.
mind wide open – no barriers in place,
I sat one
bright day, gazing, lost in my space.
as a ‘presence’ that I couldn’t see,
of my ‘space’ and right into me.
it was friendly; at first, it was kind,
it had plans to take over my mind.
one? Were there twenty? Still I don’t know
vile intrusions could grow and yet grow.
head became such a huge circus tent
tricksters and jugglers all fully Hell bent
creating Hell; such a Hell without cease
clear mind that had known only peace.
listened and followed their every intent,
I’d be lost up my own fundament.
this way, no that way, no t’other,
If I let
them, I’d stand in a dither all day,
all power to make my own choice
a puppet - controlled by The Voice.
thirty long years I have just had my fill
and ‘others’ – yet never was ill.
from Day One, the original voice
Was – now
I am faced with a difficult choice.
I know there exist certain spirits, you
you believe me? With me then agree?
became Man, every race then has found
voices that speak without making a sound.
or harming, these words that they utter.
you - or force you down into the gutter.
words that inspire or words that deprave,
like diamonds, or dark as the grave.
shown you the counterfeit side of the coin.
obverse shines brightly with those who will join
in your quest for a mind that is free
intrusion. But how can that be?
‘spirits’ exist – of that have no doubt,
knowledge and wisdom and notable ‘clout’.
same thirty years, then, have brought me such wealth
those that approach me, but not in their stealth.
me; support me; encourage as well,
me with, truly, the obverse of Hell.
when I needed; nowhere did I look,
is the reason why I wrote my book.
In verse 3 above, I write “Were there one, were there
And that is the problem – to recognise and, most
importantly, to discern exactly what strategy is being used to disrupt one’s
thoughts, create confusion and then dominate.
Back to the Russian dolls – sometimes it used to feel that every one of
the cohort was within my mind, trying to make ‘itself’ heard.
Fortunately, most of this is in the past, although daily I
am reminded of the activities of the disruptive, ‘malign’ intrusions. Paradoxically, these intrusions serve to
bring back vividly to me, examples of some of the many ways in which
individuals may be tormented, to such an extent that they are unable to control
their thoughts and actions, with the result that they become ill.
It must be obvious that I could write on and on as I strive
to inform and convince, and I shall do so in a variety of ways including this
Blog. However, nothing will replace my
book, where everything that happened and all of my reactions and thoughts, are
described in detail and in their appropriate ‘historical’ sequence.
(Listening to the Silences in a World of hearing Voices
Before I conclude, I must acknowledge my thanks to Abby
and Brittany Hensel for the example that they provide, and my admiration for
their lives of harmony.