Here you are – you are no longer Ruth, but yourself. You are in prime health and eager to join your friends as you all go to hear the great evangelical preacher – the one and only Billy Graham, or another and similarly well known spiritual orator. Maybe you are seeking the ‘God’ experience? Many people did at the time of the so-called ‘charismatic movements’. Groups got together – some individuals ‘speaking in tongues’; others full of deep fervour - and much more. So, the much-vaunted ‘evangelist’ has come to town, together with the whole of his entourage.
What can I say? You will have seen on TV much that is similar. And then he begins to call individuals by name, and you begin to tremble in hope or fear that your name will be called. And it is – and eager hands usher you down to join the others at the front, where you stand as the ‘evangelist’ moves along the line – speaking to this one, touching that one – and he touches you lightly on the chest. But a light touch is not what you experience. A firm and completely irresistible pressure is there, forcing you back into the receptive arms of the stewards, who lay you carefully on the ground. You have been ‘Slain by the Spirit’!
In this relaxed state, I met and married a widow who had two teenage children, all with a common interest in horses and smallholding life. It seemed ideal and I saw no problems. However, K. was ahead of me. She and her late husband, an architect, had already developed some run-down property. Mine was not in any way run down, but K. soon had ideas for ‘development’. I had been about to begin to develop my DIY skills; K’s were already ahead of mine. I began to experience the ‘critical watching’ – “I wouldn’t have done it that way.” “The person who taught me…”
But if that is all that you read, you will be robbing yourself.
The remainder of the book from Chapter 6 onward shows how my life developed in the light of this knowledge; these experiences. And it is written – as is the whole book – to try to bring greater understanding of the whole ‘voice hearing’ experience. And not only will you be robbing yourself, but also those for whom the knowledge is intended – the inarticulate ones whose life really can be come a hell as they cope with all that the ‘intrusions’ can inflict upon them, and the hell that their journey into ‘psychiatry’ may make of their lives as they become suppressed, zombified by modern anti-psychotic drugs.
whose sole purpose in their presence and interaction is to give support and create harmony In doing so, I am entering another area where the choice of language and metaphor is as difficult as finding the language and analogies required to describe the malign intruders. Almost every word or simile has already become embedded in the language of religion.
Deliberately, at every stage and in every piece of my writing, I have been at great pains to dissociate myself with any and all religions, for I have tried to reach individuals of all religions or none. I have described my own spiritual progress as it has impacted on my narrative, but in every other respect, I retain an inner privacy. Throughout my book, and in context you will find many concrete examples of how I have experienced support and practical help – and yes, love, from the world of the ‘benign.
Through the Family Tree Ministry, which has been closed since his death, he showed how, by analysing the family tree, it might be possible to decide at which level of ancestry the original disturbance began. Dr McAll’s book Healing the Family Tree describes how those who practised this Ministry, used prayer to attempt to persuade the sources of the disturbances and attachments to allow themselves to be led onward in a spiritual sense.
At best, drugs will suppress an individual’s mind to such an extent that intrusive entities can no longer exert influence. And hopefully will come the further realisation that when the drug intake ceases, the mind will gradually clear, and the opening may yet exist for the intrusions to return – i.e. ‘the patient has a relapse’, and may be treated with even stronger anti-psychotic drugs – which can have side-effects that may be far worse than many a ‘conventional’ illness.
I look at faces and expressions, moods and reactions, but ‘look’ and ‘watch’ are the two operative words, for apart from sensing the general mood of the piece I have not the slightest idea of what is being said. When I watch Chinese television there are subtitles – but they also are in Chinese. I would dearly like to know what Dunia and the people whom she interviews on
They have their own transmission received inside their head that no one else can hear or comprehend, while, viewed on the screen of life that is going on outside them, they see people, faces expressions, actions, moods and reactions, and try to interpret something that is far off. Something that is almost unreachable from within a mind and body that are often numbed by the drugs that are meant to make life more bearable (but which often are there solely to ‘contain’ them). A world with which they find it increasingly difficult to communicate, to such an extent that attempts to do so may be abandoned altogether, especially when the inner world can appear warm and friendly.
One morning they came and they were immensely subdued, in fact, for such a big man, it was odd that Derek seemed close to tears. “Clarry’s topped his self,” said Brian eventually. Work was pointless, and they went off to the King’s Head for more appropriate solace. Clarry – or Clarence to give him his Sunday name – had farmed with brother Ronnie, until they had given up the farm. But farmers never retire, and one met them here and there, as they helped out on other farms - hedging, dykeing, dry-stone walling, hay-timing - or working in people’s gardens.
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