YOUR
HEALING / HARMING
MIND
With special reference to
Sir Terry Pratchett
A
sequence of events that, literally, were mind altering, has prompted me to
write this short article.
Apart
from any alteration to my own mind, the episodes have provided clues that may
have relevance in the study of mental ageing, breast cancer, and, possibly, to
the onset of MS and Alzheimer’s disease.
By
choice, and for a number of years, I have lived a solitary life in a very quiet
and tranquil place, which is free from urban and other forms of pollution.
I
am not a hermit, for I have many friends either in person or by phone and
email, but, for large parts of my days, I live deep in my ‘mind’. Possibly lost in abstract, reflective or
ruminative thought, which might then give way to writing, or which might contribute
to my ongoing study of that fascinating topic – ‘me’.
Not
in an obsessive, Narcissistic manner, but following my absorbing interest in
the interplay between the mammal ‘me’, and the Johnny-come-lately intellectual
‘me’.
Here I am with all of my mammal evolution, still
complete in its entirety and fully functioning – the result of aeons of logical
development, and providing me with the tools of self-preservation, procreation
and enhancement of the species, all of which should be in exquisite
balance. And here I am with my
split-function human intellectual brain which, with its divisions, can succeed
in screwing up and overriding the harmony that should exist - and do it to the
detriment of my physical and mental health.
In the most simplistic way, for long periods of time,
I live largely in my ‘right brain’, the centre of imagination and ruminative
thought. Even when engaged in such
mundane activities as washing the dishes, I may be teasing away at the
arguments and forms of words that subsequently I will go on to present in writing
such as this. So deep can I be in analytical
thought that suddenly I realise that my breathing is very shallow, and that my
body is physically tense and ‘polarised’ in one particular way.
But, far from being a transient phenomenon, it may be
my state of being for significant lengths of time, with the ‘polarisation’ becoming
semi-permanent, and, which can be particularly noticeable in my breathing, which
may have become not much more than a ‘whisper’.
(See final note).
Within my mind, I am visualising and verbalising. But to my inner mammal, I am hearing sounds
and seeing things and the mammal ‘me’ is actively seeking whatever it is that
is causing this degree of attention in my right brain – and it is looking for
it to my left hand side. And it is preparing
me physically to respond actively to whatever it is that might come from that
direction.
My left foot and my right hand ‘close’ as if holding
on, while my left buttock becomes taut, with the centre of tension at the
ischium. Likewise, the left testicle
structure is tensed, and the left lower abdomen is retracted. Meanwhile the senses of hearing, vision and
touch in the right side of my head, become marginally less acute.
The right leg and right lower quarter stiffen,
producing muscular tension in the thigh and ankle region, and in the lower
abdomen, while the left upper quarter and arm also stiffen. The whole, thus, creates strong muscular
tension in the biceps, across my left breast and up my left neck, both internally
and externally.
The musculature associated with my left eye and ear
becomes permanently stressed, as the eye and ear strain to listen to and look
at what, they are led to believe, may be a threat arriving from the left.
My bladder and anal sphincters tighten, together with
a simultaneous ‘locking’ of my throat and neck at the level of my thyroid gland
- with an unbalanced feeling of restriction, strongest on its left side.
The right eye and ear become ‘detuned’ - still
retaining their proper function, but allowing greater concentration on the
looking and listening to the left.
There is much more detail to which I shall return in
an article that I have been trying to write for some time. An article that will also describe the various
strategies and exercises that I have devised to try to counteract the deterioration
that must inevitably result if it all goes unchecked (remembering that I am 88,
and yet still want to maintain my mental and physical faculties for as long as
possible.)
Help, when it came, arrived completely unexpectedly
and, one might say, bizarrely, in the shape of a three CD boxed set – a gift
from a very good friend.
No, not music and the Mozart effect and all that, but
in the form of a lecture or discourse that occupied all of the CDs. And it was not the actual content of the
lecture either. With his title “The Biology
of Belief”, Dr. Bruce H. Lipton began, and talked, and talked - continuously in
a voice barely above a monotone, although somehow managing to imbue it with
enthusiasm.
Slowly, logically, persuasively, non-stop through
three CDs, he led through basic cell structure, proteins, cell membranes, DNA. Building, building an argument that reached
its climax in the whole person and the influence of the mind and beliefs upon
its ultimate function.
But no! - it was none of that. My experiences began within two minutes of my
commencing to listen. Listen I did,
intently, because I was now in new territory and my friend had been so
enthusiastic in making the gift. And as
I listened, I became aware that all of the locked in tensions, stiffness and
semi paralyses were releasing and revitalising. But it was not the result of what I heard. No - here I was completely immersed in
language, logic and coherent argument – I was entirely within the recesses of
my left brain, and my inner mammal
responded as it had evolved to do – to the ‘threat’ that might this time come
from the now opposite direction. And a
new ‘polarisation’ began to establish.
And it did not happen just that once. No: each time I listen, and within thirty seconds,
the same changes occur. I have become so
bored with the arguments and discussion that I don’t listen in logical sequence
– I simply switch in at random, focus entirely on his voice – and receive my
therapy. My left buttock and testicle (and
all my genitalia) suddenly feel normal and in harmony: my left foot and right hand
grip no longer and the sphincters begin to relax. My right foot is restored to a feeling of
normality, and hitherto unnoticed stresses across my left breast gently unwind.
I have ‘worked’ the sequence many, many times since
the initial surprise event, and have observed many subtleties in where and how
release and relaxation occur – far too many to describe in this short
note. To me, and in the general context
in which I am writing, most significant is what follows the release of the
sphincters.
The left shoulder loses its semi-permanent hunch,
returning to the normal level for a right handed person, i.e. slightly higher
than the right (See note at # ). This return to ‘normality’ facilitates the
liberation of the whole cervical spine and associated muscles, while the throat
with all of its internal components becomes more free, resulting in an
unquantifiable ‘release’ around the thyroid, and apparent increase in blood
flow to and from the brain.
Tensions that hitherto were unobserved, having become
part of my normal structure, now release in my left face, around the left eye
and all over my scalp. The feeling of
mental well-being is remarkable.
Sometime ago, I read a note in which Sigmund Freud described
a patient who, he believed, was in the early stages of MS. In particular, I remember his comments
following her statement that “My left eyebrow is numb, and I have trouble
moving my right foot…” and his opinion that she was on a downward path from
which there was no return.
I recall it from time to time when my own left eyebrow
and right foot behave as I have described.
Fortunately, I know the cause, and provide relief, but my suggestion
that what I observe and then correct may relate to MS, is strengthened when one
now learns that within the development of the illness, one or both jugular
veins becomes constricted – which relates to what I observe in myself.
Further, as it is sometimes asserted that there is a
close link between MS and Alzheimer’s disease, what I detect in relation to
blood flow and mental well-being may equally have relevance.
Much is being written and otherwise communicated about
the development in Terry Pratchett of a condition that appears to be a form of
Alzheimer’s disease. With only knowledge
that is in the public domain, I nevertheless see my analysis applying to him
also. Applying to a much higher degree, for
his whole life appears to be devoted to his writing; writing that involves far
more concentration and imagination than mine.
(See note on final page below referring to changes in his health)
Furthermore, he writes with four computer screens
occupying his total visual focus for many hours. The ‘mammal within’ does not habitually stare
in forward focus. Such a state is
normally the result of confrontation, possibly against a foe. Confrontation that normally is resolved
fairly quickly.
The ‘mammal within’ requires wide-ranging peripheral
vision and frequent eye movement. I am
fortunate in that where I live I have wide horizons as soon as I step outside,
and the movement of birds, cattle and horses, trees and clouds, and I can sense
the benefit that I derive as my eyes are constantly moving and changing
focus.
I well remember a recent winter and the time when it
was just changing into spring. It had
gone on for so long – grey, wet, cold, with very little incentive to go
outside, and with the vision confined to TV and computer screens and
print. Then one day I took off for my
nearby shore, on a day of almost unbelievable clarity and light – and the
liberation was astonishing. My eyes
ranged back and forth along the absolutely pin-sharp horizon ‘luxuriating’ in
their liberation: while the feeling within my whole self amounted almost to a rebirth. It was unforgettable.
Yes – unforgettable.
And unforgettable was the ‘purging’ of my lungs with ocean air. Air straight from the North
Atlantic – pure and unpolluted – and ‘alive’. Air that seemed to
sweep around my brain – scouring away any remaining dross.
As I try to bring this article to a logical
conclusion, many other examples jostle for attention, all worthy of inclusion,
but the article would become too long, so I’ll confine myself to just two. The first has been described and analysed
many time in my writing about voice hearing.
I have heard voices and experienced many other allied
phenomena for more than thirty years, fortunately without having become ill,
and I describe and analyse my experiences in my book* and Blog. I assert – with
absolute certainty – that the phenomena are created by spiritual intrusion into
my mind and body.
I have experienced ‘intrusions’ of different natures
and purpose, from the absolute benign to the absolute malign. The former, in fact, do not intrude, and have
contributed much to my understanding of the spiritual state of being.
The malign have but one purpose, and that is to
attach, subvert and ultimately take over a person’s mind and functions. In my book, I describe a number of different
‘ploys’ that are used as they attempt to do this. Some are directly confrontational and aim at domination. Others are simple yet subtle. The constant chattering, nattering, “…do it
this way”, “why don’t you…” may be in one’s mind continuously from one’s first
thoughts on waking, until sleep takes over again. One finds oneself ‘hearing’ without
specifically ‘listening’ although the effect can easily be the same. The ‘intruders’ use the faculties of the
‘right brain’, and the resulting consequences of the constant voice in the mind
are identical to those that follow one’s own inner right brain thought processes and mental
imaging, and which I have described above.
I live alone and am not undermined because I understand
what is happening. Many voice hearers
live lives of isolation, do not understand, and consequently may become very
ill.
The second example that I have chosen from all those
that ‘jostle for attention’ relates to what may be dire physical consequences
that follow from the permanent cross-body polarisation. I have drawn attention to the permanent
stresses that may exist in the muscles across my left breast. For a number of years I gave assistance at a
cancer care centre where the so-called Bristol Therapy was promoted. There I found a general consensus that the
site of a woman’s first breast cancer was likely to be on the left in a
proportion of four to one. Breast cancer
was the most frequent form that one encountered, and I can recollect just one
person there whose first episode had been in the right breast.
My late sister-in-law succumbed to cancer of the right
breast, and she told me that her surgeon had said that she was in the only 20%
of women who initially developed the illness on the right side. She was very ‘verbal’, and possibly a strong
‘left brain’ candidate.
Essentially, I am simply making the proposition that
the stresses of which I write may be inhibiting natural circulation of blood
and lymph and may be creating a fertile ‘soil’ in which the tumours can
develop. Incidentally, among my friends
and acquaintances who have developed mastitis following giving birth, in every
one it was the left breast that
became inflamed.
POSTSCRIPT
– SIR TERRY PRATCHETT.
Since
I wrote the above, Sir Terry has dropped out of the headlines, to the extent
that I had to look in the Internet to find out whether or not he is still
alive. I was delighted to discover that
he is, and is still writing.
This
is what Wikipedia reports –
Because of his
condition, Pratchett currently writes either by dictating to his assistant, Rob
Wilkins, or by using speech
recognition software.
In September 2012
Pratchett stated in an interview "
“I have to tell you
that I thought I’d be a lot worse than this by now, and so did my
specialist."
In the interview it
was stated that the cognitive part of his mind was "untouched", and
his symptoms relating to the condition were physical (which is normal for PCA)
and that putting a book together was actually better and easier now that it was
done by dictation.
In my
own interpretation, the ‘thinking, planning, imagining’ have been brought
together with speech, involving both
sides of the brain, bringing new life to the inert and under-used ‘left brain’
functions of speech, language and logic, and hence to the whole person.
Also –
and this is so fundamentally important –
as he
speaks, he breathes.
Yes,
no longer the shallow ‘whisper breathing’ of concentration about which I wrote earlier, but ‘speech breathing’ bringing with it, life and possibly rejuvenation
to the oxygen starved brain.
(Revised May 2014)
# Described in detail in Chapters 13 & 14 of my book, and illustrated with photographs of nude models.
* ”LISTENING TO THE SILENCES in a world of hearing voices.”
Free on www.royvincent.org and in paperback.
